Can an Introvert Fake Being an Extrovert?
While it’s possible for introverts to fake an extroverted persona, it’s not healthy behavior and can eventually cause an internal identity crisis.
If you’ve found this article, you’ve probably been made to feel weird or outcasted for not being like your extroverted peers at some point in your life. When that happens, it’s easy to fall into the trap of self-hate, which oftentimes leads to you trying to be someone you’re not — an extrovert — just to fit in.
Although trying to portray extroversion may seem like a helpful and necessary thing to do, it’s not, and it can actually be pretty damaging to your self-esteem.
Reasons Why Introverts Might Want to Fake Being Extroverted
Here are a few common reasons why introverts might want to fake being extroverted:
To be better at socializing
Introverts might want to fake being extroverted because they think it will make them better at being social.
If this sounds like you, I’ve got good news for you: being introverted doesn’t mean that you have to be socially awkward, and being an extrovert doesn’t mean you’re good at socializing. Anybody has the ability to learn basic social skills, including more introverted people. This includes learning the ebb and flow of small talk; learning social cues such as when the conversation is ending, when people are uninterested, and when people are uncomfortable; and learning appropriate facial expressions.
It’s a common misconception that extroverts are automatically better at socializing with people; Don’t you know some extroverts who could use a lesson on when to stop talking and listen? So, if you’re wanting to fake being an extrovert to get better at socializing, just know that you can be just as sociable as the next extrovert without having to be someone you’re not.
To Fit in at School, at Work, With Friends, Etc.
Sometimes, introverts will act extroverted as to not be rejected by their extroverted peers.
I certainly understand how it feels to be labeled as “buzzkill” or “no fun” just because you don’t like participating in all of the social activities that your friends may want to do, but from my own personal experience, if the only value your friends see in you is that you can have fun and do a bunch of extrovert-centered activities, they’re probably not your friends.
It’s important that you find a tribe of family and friends that understand your introverted personality, and accept you for you. Now, that doesn’t mean that you should expect your friends to only do things you want to do, and similarly they shouldn’t expect you to do everything they want to do; there’s a delicate balance that must be had in any relationship, especially introvert-extrovert relationships. The key point here is that you shouldn’t be faking an extroverted personality just to fit in where you’re not valued.
Can Faking Extroversion Have Benefits?
Generally, it’s not a good idea for you to constantly have to fake being an extrovert — whatever the reason may be. However, there are a few lessons that introverts can learn from extroverted behaviors that will not harm your psyche and self-esteem, including:
Initiating social interaction with strangers doesn’t have to be scary.
Don’t be scared of rejection.
If you’re awkward about small talk and social interaction, don’t overthink it.
If you want to read the complete list of valuable things introverts can learn from their extroverted peers, you might enjoy reading my article 8 Valuable Lessons Introverts Can Learn From Extroverts (With Real-Life Stories)
The Dangers of Faking an Extroverted Persona
If you find yourself constantly having to fake being an extrovert, whether it’s to fit in with friends, at work, in school, or even in your family, you could develop feelings of self-doubt, which can lead to you battling an identity crisis.
When you feel like you always have to change who you are to fit in, you might start to question if your true self is even worth anything. I’m not talking about superficial things like “dressing for the job you want,” or “smiling to look approachable”; I’m talking about changing who you are at your core to be accepted by others. You’ll start to ask questions like:
“Why do they only like me when I act extroverted?”
“Is my true self not good enough for them?”
“Will they not like me if I show them my introspective side?”
This is where the self-doubt kicks in, and when it’s there, boy is it hard to get rid of. Here are a few ways that you can learn to accept yourself as the introvert you truly are:
Build Confidence in Your Introverted Qualities.
Once you can learn to appreciate what your introspective qualities have to offer the world, you will learn to accept yourself and have confidence in yourself, and you will attract people who value what you have to offer.
Build Confidence in Your Introverted Qualities.
Just because you’re introverted doesn’t mean you have to lack social skills. Developing your social skills can help you be more confident in yourself in social situations, which then allows you to make connections with the people who love your personality.
Release Your Fears of Rejection.
Rejection is a necessary part of life, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or anything between. Don’t let your fears of rejection stop you from making valuable relationships.
Find a community that values your introspective personality.
To combat those feelings of self-doubt, it’s important to find your tribe of friends who understand and see value in your introspective personality. Some of those friends might even be extroverts, but the key is that both of you have a mutual understanding and respect for each others qualities.
Have you ever felt the need to fake being an extrovert? Let me know; I love hearing from readers like you!
